Updated 3rd November 2020.
Your Guide to Difficult Co-Parent Texts, Emails, and Social Media Posts is a great help for separated parents to learn how to avoid being triggered by your ex partners communications.
If you have completed our New Ways for Families Course you will have already been introduced to the BIFF concept.
If you don’t know what BIFF is yet, it is a strategy to help you to de-escalate communications with adversarial and conflict-prone people. You know the sort of people. The ones who write a five scroll email after an imagined slight or infraction you have supposedly committed.
BIFF for Co-Parents is going to be a great help if you are trying to co-parent with someone who is prone to escalate issues into a conflict you definitely need to learn the BIFF technique but you’ll find it helps at work and with other family and friends who are prone to volatility.
Available on Amazon
Available from Unhooked Books
Use BIFF to respond to your Ex’s Blaming, Accusing and Taunting Texts and Emails
When you are going through separation and sadly sometimes well after the divorce when co-parenting, not only do you need to deal with your own emotions, you may be faced with a daily barrage of hostile calls, texts, email and social media blasts.
How can you regain a sense of control and peace for your own sake and for the kids?
For more than a decade, the BIFF method of responding to hostile and misinforming emails, texts and conversations has grown in use by thousands of people dealing with a difficult co-parent and with those who may have a high conflict personality. This third book in the iBIFF™ Conflict Communication Series is especially devoted to parents dealing with issues during, and after, separation and divorce. Complete with instructions in the four-step BIFF method, and numerous practical examples, readers will learn the intricacies of their new parenting environment.
When parents use this approach, not only do they feel good about their end of the written or verbal conversation, but it tends to influence the other parent to communicate more productively as well. While it’s simple and practical, it’s not natural for most of us because we are hooked by the emotional intensity. This book can help you reduce the conflict and regain your sanity by learning what to write and what not to write.
Brief – you don’t have to and shouldn’t respond to every point they raise. It just traps you in their emotional manipulation.
Informative – just communicate the information that needs to be communicated, and nothing else.
Friendly – grit your teeth and be civil. You can take control by not sinking to their level.
Firm – say what you want and what you intend doing. When you are firm you take away their power over you.
This bit is hard so buy the book as it will have a lot of relevant examples to help you learn how to use the BIFF technique to help stop your vulnerability to the emotional manipulation and to empower yourself with the skills to stop and de-escalate their efforts to increase your tension and the conflict.
We know that exposure to parental conflict is terrible for children’s developmental needs so if learning this for your own benefit isn’t enough motivation, do it for the kids!
BIFF is a communication game changer―it works!